Mala Broma
by Serenity Goddess
Summary: [NOW COMPLETED... r&r, pls] Buffy plots at playing a practical joke on Willow, and draws an unwitting Xander into the field. (B/X) Season 3 ish.
1. One

--- ACT ONE ---  
  
  
"Oh, I so plan to outdo her this year." Buffy Summers mumbled to herself as   
she picked at her scone. "I am going to get her so good, she won't even know   
what hit her. I'm going to get all of them good."  
  
"Okay, at which point in the conversation am I included?" Xander asked her,   
after patiently listening to her grumble. "As much as I enjoy your little   
Buffy-monologue there, I do believe there was something you wanted to talk   
to me about. Unless , of course, you meant there was something you wanted to   
talk to yourself about, in my prescence. Which of the two is it?"  
  
"I'm sorry," said Buffy nonchalantly as she put down her untouched scone.   
She stirred her coffee but didn't drink out of it. "I was just thinking of   
how I want to kick Willow's butt and ground her into the dirt. Scone?" She   
offered her scone generously to Xander.  
  
Xander gave her a worried glance and courteously refused her offer of food.   
"Insert worried and confused Xander here."  
  
"Well, there's nothing you have to worry about, I'm perfectly fine," Buffy   
took back her scone and lumped it on her plate. She stared at her cup of   
coffee. "Although, by the end of next week you might have to worry about   
Willow. Just kidding."  
  
"Really Buff …"  
  
Buffy waved her hand , signalling that she wasn't interested in hearing the   
rest of Xander's sentence. "Don't you 'really, Buffy' me. Nobody 'really,   
Will'-ed Willow , now did they?"  
  
"Is this about …" Xander already knew the answer before he finished. Buffy   
nodded. "I didn't know vengeance was in your game-plan."  
  
"This isn't vengeance. Don't paint me the wrong way. I'm a forgiving Buffy.   
I'm just doing things in the spirit of this whole season . And I just think   
this forgiving Buffy needs to have a little fun. After all, we certainly had   
lots of fun at Buffy's expense last year, didn't we?"  
  
"This is my cue to worry when you begin to speak of yourself in the third   
person. And I had nothing to do with that… incident. You know perfectly   
well. So don't try to pin any blame on me. And it was a year ago. Ever   
heard of a wonderful term called 'bygones'?" Xander looked Buffy straight in   
the eye as he spoke to her.  
  
"Well, OK, I admit, she was pretty clever about it. But it's my turn now."  
  
"You didn't seem to mind … up till now, of course."  
  
"Oh, I've been planning this for such a long time. Sure, some people may   
call me immature, but it's all in the name of fun."  
  
"Please tell me it's a non-violent plan."  
  
"Of course it's non-violent. I would never hurt Willow. Physically. Well   
maybe sometimes I like to mess with her head a little bit, but that's not   
the point. The point is, I want to launch Operation Payback, and you're a   
part of it."  
  
"Key-guy?" asked Xander with a little twinkle in his eye.  
  
"That's right." Buffy leaned closer to him across the table. "My key-guy."  
  
# # #  
  
"Giles, have you seen Buffy?" Willow asked as she poked her head in the   
library. "I haven't seen her all day."  
  
"Oh, she told me she was having lunch with Xander at the cafeteria." The   
British-accented voice rose from behind a bookshelf.  
  
"They never eat lunch without me." Willow thought out loud. "She's been   
acting really strange around me lately."  
  
"Really?" Giles walked out from behind the bookshelf, carrying a pile of   
assorted books. "In what way?"  
  
"It wasn't until a few weeks ago," recalled Willow. "She was being really   
mysterious around me, and kept giving me those … looks. Like she knows   
something I don't. It's really freaking me out."  
  
"You think she's possessed?"  
  
"Oh no, nothing like that," Willow said with a laugh. "It's just that… I   
don't know. It's like one minute we're best friends, and the next she's   
acting … weird."  
  
"Have you tried talking to her?" Giles asked helpfully. "It may seem like a   
difficult act, but that's probably the best way to find out what's …   
distressing her and changing her attitude and demeanour towards you."  
  
"Well, I guess you're right," responded Willow. "Although I've been having   
trouble finding her. I wonder if she's avoiding me."  
  
"Whatever it is, I'm sure you two will work it out," said Giles.  
  
"I hope so."  
  
# # #  
  
"Whoa." Xander breathed out heavily. "That's some plan."  
  
"So you'll do it?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I don't know… it does seem kind of … well, wicked … and Willow's my friend   
too, you know. I don't want to hurt her."  
  
"Believe me, she won't be hurt. She'll be surprised, definitely. Shocked,   
yes. Heck, confused even. You think I would do that if it would hurt her? I   
know her. And besides , she told me she was over you."  
  
"Ouch. That hurts my ego."  
  
"Come on. Do it. For me." Buffy stared at him pleadingly.  
  
Xander felt hopeless because he knew he couldn't say no to her when she   
looked at him like that. Part of him was actually keen on helping Buffy, he   
was sure he would enjoy it. Oh, he would definitely enjoy it. But he didn't   
want to end up hurting Willow. On the other hand, Buffy did say she was over   
him … "Fine. All right."  
  
"Thank you. We are going to have a blast, I'm sure. And don't worry -   
you'll only have to do this till next week." Buffy held his hand tightly.  
  
Xander was about to respond when Buffy whispered to him. "Willow's coming."  
  
And with that, she drew him into a long, steamy kiss.  
  
-end act i-- 


	2. Two

--- ACT TWO ---  
  
Xander was taken by surprise. He had barely time to breathe when Buffy   
thrust her lips against his. No doubt it was a pleasant surprise. It was a   
dream come true.  
  
Willow dropped her book in shock. She was coming into the cafeteria when   
she noticed Buffy and Xander seated at their usual table. She was about to   
walk over to them, when they began their public display of affection. Willow   
was so stunned she didn't know what to think. She bent down to pick up her   
book and fumbled, letting the book slip out of her hands for the second   
time. She tried again and succeeded.  
  
If anything, Willow felt betrayed. She wasn't hurt that Buffy was frenching   
(well she couldn't tell for sure, but it certainly looked like it) the guy   
she once had the hots for, but rather the fact that they were doing it   
without giving her prior warning. If they were going out, they could have at   
least told her. She was glad she didn't have any more 'sexual' feelings   
about Xander, or she would have run out screaming ten seconds ago.  
  
She sauntered over to their table and cleared her throat. Buffy and Xander   
withdrew sheepishly.  
  
"Hi, guys," Willow said, with edge in her voice. "Anything you'd like to   
share?"  
  
"Oh! How rude of me!" exclaimed Buffy. She pushed her plate towards Willow.   
"Scone?"  
  
"No," Willow tried to keep her voice even. She sat down next to Buffy. "I   
would not like a scone, but thank you for offering me one. Please tell me   
Xander passed out and you were giving him mouth-to-mouth."  
  
"Oh, I think it was more along the lines of tongue-to-tongue," Buffy   
replied mischeviously as she winked at Xander. "Don't you think, Xandy-pie?"  
  
Xander blushed. He felt odd pretending. He remembered that he was supposed   
to play along in this charade, so he responded, ignoring the weirdness of it   
all. "Yeah … my … uh… Buffy muffin."  
  
Buffy tried not to roll her eyes. Willow, however, didn't bother. "As   
interesting as this is, I was actually hoping for a little explanation about   
why both your lips were fused together."  
  
"Well, I was thinking that Xandy-pie here was looking extremely sexy in   
his… uh … orange-shirt ensemble and …" Buffy began but Willow waved her into   
silence.  
  
"I was hoping for something more along the lines of 'since when has this   
been happening and why haven't you people told me about it?'" Willow tried   
to keep her cool. All this was just too strange to swallow, and the fact   
that Buffy and Xander were being saccharine sweet to each other didn't help   
matters.  
  
Xander didn't know how to answer, because he wasn't really filled in on the   
details before Willow came walking into the cafeteria. He looked at Buffy,   
motioning for her to answer the question.  
  
"You see … we've been … doing this for … over a month now. And we … decided   
that we could not keep our passion a secret, for we are very much in love."  
  
Willow did not seem very inclined to believe what Buffy said. She turned to   
Xander. "When did you two first … you know… discover your, quote, passion   
for each other."  
  
Buffy interjected. "We were…"  
  
"I was asking Xandy-pie." Willow told her, hoping she didn't come out too   
rude. She noticed so far that Buffy was doing most of the talking and she   
wanted to hear what Xander had to say.  
  
"Well … uh … it's actually a very , funny story…" Xander began, looking at   
Buffy for help. Buffy couldn't do anything and just stared at him, her eyes   
warning him not to screw it up. "You see … it all began … when Buffy was …   
uh … eh… sharpening her stakes."  
  
"Oh, do go on." Willow persisted, genuinely interested in how this weird   
pairing actually happened.  
  
"So … uh … I was helping her … and we were whistling a jaunty tune … and …   
we kissed . Bam , bam, sparks flew, and we're all in happy land now." Xander   
rushed through his story and hoped Willow believed him.  
  
"That's all?" Willow asked, a little bit disappointed. She was hoping for a   
more detailed description. "What did you two say to each other?"  
  
"He told me that he loved me for so long, and could no longer keep his   
feelings bottled up," Buffy said before Xander could answer. "That was so   
sweet."  
  
"And … uh… she told me she secretly desired and lusted after me for years,   
too, and was… err … glad I felt the same way about her," Xander continued   
for her. Buffy gave him a look which Willow did not manage to catch. "And   
here we are. Xandy-pie and Buffy Muffin. Pastries in love."  
  
"Well, I'm really happy for you both. Despite the fact that you guys didn't   
tell me outright. Best of luck to both of you, I hope you have a happy life   
together." Willow got up and left. There was something eerily wrong about   
that relationship that bothered her. She told herself that she probably   
needed some time to adjust. That was probably the truth, anyhow.  
  
Giles pretty much had the same reaction when Willow told him the news.   
Unfortunately for him, he was on a stepladder arranging some books at the   
time, and what resulted was a small tumble and a painful thud.  
  
"Who would have guessed?" Giles said, once the pain in his body had   
diminished a little. "That would explain Buffy's change in character around   
you. She was afraid of your reaction towards her new relationship with   
Xander, and thus avoided you. Perhaps psychologically, she had the idea that   
you would feel betrayed if you found out, and subsequently believed that you   
couldn't find out if she didn't see you so often. Hence, the avoidance."  
  
"It frightens me that you can still think all that even after a fall."   
Willow replied. "God, this will take some getting used too. I never knew she   
felt that way about him. I, for one, am thankful I don't anymore. Imagine   
the predicament that would cause."  
  
"If it makes Buffy happy, I would suggest we all accept it."  
  
# # #  
  
"Did you hear?" Harmony rushed to meet Cordelia half-way. "I just the most   
scandalous news ever! You will not believe what Xander …"  
  
Cordelia motioned Harmony to stop. "If it's about that freak, I don't want   
to hear it. We broke up, remember. He cheated with that whiny little   
tree-named girl, who I thought was actually a nice person, and now I really   
don't care what he does with his life."  
  
"Yeah, but he and Buffy were…" Harmony tried to tell her news, but failed.  
  
"Buffy. Another name I do not want to hear. Ever again. That troublemaker."   
Cordelia gave a disgusted look at the mention of the slayer's name. She   
can't believe that she was actually friends with those bunch of   
backstabbers.  
  
"Well, apparently, Buffy and Xander were in the cafeteria, and right in   
front of ev…"  
  
"Am I not getting my message through? Do you not understand what I was   
trying to say?" Cordelia was getting frustrated.  
  
"I know, but you see, Xander and Buffy were playing tongue twisters of the   
physical type in the cafeteria. In full view of everybody." Harmony sped   
through her words so that Cordelia couldn't interrupt her.  
  
"They did what?" Cordelia's voice was loud. "God, does that boy's lips ever   
stop moving? First Willow, now Buffy? What else did they do … not that I   
care of course."  
  
"Of course." Harmony smiled. "Anyway, I heard from Jane , whose Lisa's   
biology partner, whose boyfriend is a friend of Michael Smith, the school   
basketball player, and he, Michael, sits behind this girl Emily, whose   
friend was sitting at the cafeteria this morning, when she saw Buffy and   
Xander in the lip-lock. And she overheard the conversation, and apparently,   
those two did it in a pastry shop."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"That's what Lisa's biology partner's boyfriend's friend's classmate's   
friend heard. Isn't this like, the most scandalous news you've ever heard?   
Oh, there's Bethany. I so have got to spread it now. See ya." Harmony darted   
off to spread her own version of the Buffy-Xander love story.  
  
"What is wrong with these people?" Cordelia mumbled to herself as she   
walked to class.  
  
  
--end act 2-- 


	3. Three

THREE  
  
"We fell in love whilst sharpening stakes to a jaunty whistle?" Buffy asked   
Xander as they walked down the corridor. "It was supposed to be romantic.   
The whole point of the thing was to make our relationship look perfect and   
wonderful. And what kind of sick name is Buffy Muffin?"  
  
"As opposed to Xandy-pie? At least you had ample time to prepare. I had two   
minutes." Xander retorted. "It would have helped if you at least gave me a   
little bit of information before making fools of ourselves in front of   
Willow."  
  
"Well, apparently I underestimated your talents for spontaneous   
story-telling." Buffy said as she walked towards her locker. Xander waited   
beside her as she opened it. "And what's this with me lusting over you for   
years?"  
  
Xander winked at her. "You're not the only one who gets to have all the   
fun."  
  
"Fine." Buffy chucked her books into the locker. "It's too late to undo the   
damage anyway. We'll just have to go on with this until next week. And   
please, do not adlib without giving me prior notification."  
  
"This relationship is so restrictive."  
  
A student walked past and gave Xander the thumbs-up sign. "Way to go, man!"  
  
Buffy and Xander stared at the student as he walked away. She turned to   
Xander. "Strange. That's the third time that's happened in ten minutes. I   
wonder what's that all about." Xander shrugged his shoulders.  
  
They continued walking down the corridor, before they encountered another   
student carrying leaflets. She smiled cheerily at them and handed them one.   
"Oh, you two are so cute. Are you going to our annual Charity   
lunch-and-dance?"  
  
Buffy stared at the leaflet.  
  
The girl giggled childishly and whispered to Buffy. "I heard what you two   
did. I wish I had a relationship that passionate."  
  
Buffy's eyes opened wide. "Excuse me?"  
  
# # #  
  
"The whole school knows? How did this happen?" Buffy nearly screamed. "It   
wasn't supposed to go this far. I only meant for Willow to know. And maybe   
Giles. It wasn't supposed to get out. How did it get out?"  
  
"Maybe it had something to do with you sucking my face in the cafeteria."   
Xander offered helpfully. "Geez, who would notice something like that? I   
mean, aside from the several hundred students having lunch."  
  
"Okay, so maybe that was a little stupid. Anyway , they should have been   
minding their own business. How was I to know everybody would suddenly be so   
interested in my personal life?"  
  
"Well, this is actually doing wonders for my reputation. You won't believe   
some of the rumours I've heard about us." Xander grinned at her. The smile   
dissolved under Buffy's glare.  
  
"This is just great." Buffy stared down and paused. After a while she   
looked at Xander. "Fine. We're in too deep now. If they want a loving,   
passionate couple, they're going to have a loving, passionate couple."  
  
"Err… not that I'm complaining or anything, but don't I get any say in   
this?"  
  
"No." Buffy read the leaflet again. "I think we have a dance to go to."  
  
# # #  
  
  
Buffy and Xander were in Buffy's room. She on the bed, lying on her   
stomach, looking down at Xander who was sitting cross-legged on the floor.   
Several pieces of paper were lying all over the place.  
  
"Okay. Pop quiz." Buffy picked one of the pieces of paper and read from it.   
"When did we have our first date?"  
  
Xander closed his eyes and tried to think of the answer. "23rd June."  
  
"Good. Where did we go?"  
  
"Taco Bell." Xander grinned at Buffy. Buffy laughed and smacked his   
shoulder lightly with the paper she was holding. He moved out of her range   
before telling her the answer. "The Garden."  
  
"That's a good boyfriend. And what did we order?" She tossed aside the   
paper and picked up another one. Seeing that there was nothing important   
there, she crumpled it up and feebly threw it at Xander. He dodged and the   
projectile landed beside him.  
  
"What's the point of all this? I doubt anybody is going to ask me, 'Hey   
Xander, when and where did you have your first date with Buffy and ,   
perchance, could you tell me what you both ordered?'" Xander picked up the   
crumpled piece of paper and threw it back at Buffy, missing wildly.  
  
"I'm just trying to avoid another situation where we end up whistling   
jaunty tunes on our first date, Xandy-pie." Buffy replied sweetly. "Now,   
what's our song?"  
  
"Liar, liar, pants on fire?"  
  
* * *  
  
Willow knocked on the door twice. She waited for a while before knocking   
again. It was a while before Joyce opened the door. "Hi, Willow."  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Summers. Is Buffy home?" Willow asked after Joyce invited her in.  
  
Joyce nodded. "Yeah, she is. She's with Xander, upstairs."  
  
"With Xander, huh?" Willow said. "I'm still not really used to the idea of   
them, you know, together. It's strange, isn't it? I mean, one minute they're   
friends, and the next minute they're in the cafeteria and you have no idea   
what I'm talking about, do you."  
  
Joyce gave Willow a confused look. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"She hasn't told you?" Willow covered her mouth in shock. She hoped she   
didn't let slip something Buffy wanted to tell her mother personally. "I   
honestly thought … oh dear."  
  
  
Buffy was about to ask Xander about something else when there was a knock   
on her bedroom door. She quickly gathered all the papers around her and   
stuffed them into a random drawer before opening the door. Willow and her   
mother were standing there.  
  
"Hi mom. Hi Willow." Buffy said monotonously. Xander lamely waved from his   
position. Buffy moved aside to allow Willow to enter. Willow had a sheepish   
look on her face and Buffy felt something bad just happened. Or was about   
to.  
  
"Could I have a word with you, Buffy?" Joyce asked. Buffy nodded and   
stepped outside, closing the door behind her. Willow sat down beside Xander   
and kept on looking guilty.  
  
"What's that all about?" asked Xander.  
  
"Well … have I got a story for you. In fact, I think many years later we'll   
look back on this and laugh." Willow began. "I sort of told Buffy's mom   
about … you two …"  
  
"You did what?!"  
  
"Not so loud!" Willow tried to calm him down. "It was an accident. And I   
honestly thought she knew. I really, honestly did. You think I'm the type of   
person who goes round babbling things to people's mothers?"  
  
"Well, you're doing a pretty good job so far." Xander moved towards the   
door.  
  
"Where are you going?" asked an alarmed Willow.  
  
"To listen at the door." Xander placed his ear at the door and listened   
hard. Willow , out of curiousity and guilt, followed suit and joined him in   
eavesdropping. Outside, Buffy and her mother were having a rather   
interesting conversation.  
  
"It's not that I don't approve - Xander is a very nice boy. But I am a   
little concerned that you didn't tell me. I had to find out from Willow,   
when I should have been hearing it directly from you." Joyce began.  
  
"Willow told you?" Buffy made a mental note to kill Willow. Or at least   
maim her. "Well, you see … Xander and I … our relationship is…." She stopped   
when she heard a slight movement behind her bedroom door. Her mother ,   
however, did not seem to notice.  
  
Buffy suspected that Willow was probably honing in on the conversation. She   
couldn't tell her mother truth. At least not now. She continued. "… really ,   
really … great. In fact, we were going to tell you today. Until Willow   
spoiled the surprise for us."  
  
"You really like him, don't you?" Joyce's face softened.  
  
"No, I just pretend."  
  
Joyce laughed. "I always thought you two made a cute couple. I'm so happy   
for you."  
  
Back inside, Xander breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, that went better than   
I expected. No fatalities so far."  
  
Several seconds later, the doorknob turned. Willow and Xander quickly   
retreated and pretended that they were doing something other than   
eavesdropping at the door. Buffy stepped inside, and leaned against the   
door. "This just keeps getting better and better…"  
  
"Buffy, I'm so sorry." Willow attempted an apology. "Truthfully, I   
seriously didn't know that …"  
  
"Oh, really, there's no need to apology." Buffy said as she walked to her   
bed. "Thanks to you, my mother is probably already sending out wedding   
invitations. I think it's safe to say that you've been absolutely   
wonderful."  
  
"Maybe I should … let you cool down a little…" said Willow, knowing very   
well what Buffy could do when she was in a bad mood. "I'll see you in school   
tomorrow. When you're feeling … a little less violent. I mean, not that   
you're violent now. Or ever. It's just that…"  
  
"Adding coal to the fire…" Buffy tapped her feet impatiently.  
  
"And I'll go right now. Bye." Willow gave a tiny wave and fled.  
  
Xander turned and looked at Buffy. "So, how did it go?"  
  
"You should know very well, since you were listening at the door." Buffy   
replied with a tiny grin.  
  
Xander nodded and smiled, since he was found out. "But, correct me if I'm   
wrong, wouldn't it be better to just tell your mother the truth? It'll save   
us a lot of trouble. And humiliation."  
  
"No. The less people we let on the secret to, the better. Besides, my   
mother would probably think that what we're doing is petty and childish."  
  
"You mean it isn't?"  
  
"All right. So maybe it is. But the last thing I want right now is to   
involve my mother in any way. Hopefully, she'll leave us alone most of the   
time."  
  
"Am I the only one who thinks this is going a little bit two far?" Xander   
asked. "I mean, the whole school knows, and now your mom knows … don't you   
think it's a little bit too much?"  
  
"Oh, come on." Buffy laid back on her bed. "She thought she was great last   
year, but this time we're going to come out on top."  
  
"You're really obsessed with this, aren't you?" He said as he sat on the   
bed beside her. "I don't think it's really healthy."  
  
"I don't think of it as an obsession. I like to think of it as dedication."  
  
"My Buffy Muffin's a psychotic freak." Xander flashed her one of his warm   
smiles.  
  
Buffy thought he was actually cute. In his own, weird, Xander-ish way. "Is   
that so bad?"  
  
"No. It's actually turning me on."  
  
Buffy gave him a look and shoved him off the bed.  
  
# # #  
  
"So, Buffy," said Joyce as she and Buffy were having dinner. "Are you and   
Xander going out this weekend?"  
  
"You know, all you've been talking about for the last twenty minutes is   
Xander. Aren't you being a little enthusiastic about this?" Buffy asked   
after taking a sip from her glass.  
  
"I want to play an active role in my daughter's social life."  
  
"Have you been reading Psychology Today again?" Buffy asked, cracking a   
smile. "And if you absolutely must know , yes. There's this lunch-and-dance   
thing on Saturday, and we're thinking of going."  
  
"How sweet," responded Joyce. "What are you going to do after that?"  
  
"Well, we're thinking of getting married and having eight children. You   
don't mind having eight grandchildren, now do you?"  
  
"All right. If you don't want me to know everything, I perfectly   
understand. I'll leave you alone. I respect your privacy," said Joyce, a   
little bit offended. "and yes, eight grandchildren would be fine."  
  
----- 


	4. Four

FOUR  
  
"Vampire activity has been low as of late," rambled Giles aimlessly as the   
gang sat around the library table pretending to listen. "Of course, it is   
better for us to take all necessary precautions , just in case there is   
something …"  
  
As Giles continued on and on about the same thing, Willow watched as Buffy   
and Xander acted lovey-dovey. Buffy seemed willing to speak to Willow that   
morning, but was not really cheerful about it. Right now, to the disdain of   
her Watcher, Buffy was sitting on Xander's lap, teasingly tapping his chin.  
  
"… and so I think it is important if you carry on patrolling as usual,   
Buffy, so we won't be surprised if …" Giles finally realised that no one was   
paying attention to what he was saying, especially his Slayer. He looked   
sternly at Buffy and her 'boyfriend'. "Buffy, I would appreciate if you and   
Xander would stop doing … whatever it is you're doing and pay attention.   
What we're discussing is extremely important."  
  
"And also very boring," said Buffy, who had no intention of getting of   
Xander's lap. Xander didn't seem to mind. Buffy was having fun examining   
Willow's (and Giles') reactions. "Day in , day out … it's the same thing.   
Patrol as usual, yada yada yada, the safety of Sunnydale is in your hands,   
yada yada blah blah. I'm kinda used to the drill, Giles."  
  
"This is *not* a drill," replied Giles indignantly. "It is your sacred duty   
as the Slayer to defend the world from the undead. You need to be a little   
bit more serious…"  
  
"What I need," interrupted Buffy, "is a refreshing new change."  
  
"Maybe what you need," Xander added, "is some Xander love."  
  
Buffy seemed shocked for a moment, not used to Xander's sudden declaration   
of affection in public. She recovered quickly with a bubbly giggle. She   
gingerly pecked his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh, I   
definitely want some of that."  
  
Giles rolled his eyes and then buried his heads in his hands. Willow   
continued watching with interest.  
  
Buffy spotted a golden opportunity to escape the pit of boredom and seized   
it. She hopped of Xander's lap. Turning to Giles and Willow, she smiled. "If   
you'll excuse us for one moment … Xander and I have a little recreational   
activity planned." She sexily smiled at Xander, who was still sitting down.   
"You coming?"  
  
"Sure thing, my Buffy Muffin." Xander had been practising, and he could now   
say it without feeling sick. He stood up. "Lead the way."  
  
Buffy took him by the hand and led him out of the library. When they   
reached a safe distance, they broke away. Buffy laughed. "That was fun.   
Killing two birds with one stone. We managed to get out of that boring   
meeting, and we have once again, induced them to nausea with our   
sickly-sweet charade. I'm loving this."  
  
"So am I," said Xander, "although I really think we should get more   
action."  
  
Buffy slapped him on the back of his head lightly. She spoke as he rubbed   
his head. "Keep those hormones in check. And what's this with Xander-love?"  
  
"Well, I thought of that myself. I think it's pretty clever actually."   
Xander said , after smiling widely. "I don't see why you're the only one   
that gets to do the sweet-talking. Remember, there are two people in this   
relationship."  
  
"All right," said Buffy, amused with her friend, "Just don't go overboard."  
  
"Do I ever?"  
  
  
Inside the library, Giles lifted his head to find the slayer and her   
'boyfriend' gone. He sighed half out of exasperation and half out of relief.   
As patient as he was, it was getting on his nerves watching Buffy and Xander   
play lovebirds.  
  
"There's something weird about that relationship," said Willow. "Sure, it's   
downright sickening, but there's something else that's bugging me."  
  
"What about?" asked Giles, knowing very well he would regret asking the   
question.  
  
"It doesn't seem … real. I mean, I'm not saying anything , or accusing them   
of anything… it's just that it looks … too planned. It looked staged," said   
Willow, wrinkling her eyebrows.  
  
"Well, now that you have come to mention it," Giles replied, cleaning his   
glasses, "It does seem a tad artificial. Their relationship seems   
over-sweetened."  
  
"Maybe they're too much in love," answered Willow, still thinking hard.   
"But did you see the way Buffy looked just now when Xander was talking? It   
was like she wasn't expecting that… like he adlib their script … and she was   
stunned for a moment. Only for a small moment … but still…"  
  
Giles did not want to say anything else to encourage Willow. If she got on   
a roll, she would not stop for days. Maybe weeks. He would have to listen to   
her rant over and over again. That was a terrible fate.  
  
Willow glanced at her watch. "Well, there's still about eight more minutes   
till … oh, I see it now!" Her sudden exclamation surprised Giles.  
  
"See what?"  
  
"The whole picture! Look at the date. You do know what next week is, don't   
you?"  
  
Giles didn't seem to know, so Willow told him. He nodded in   
acknowledgement.  
  
"I see it all now!" Willow nearly screamed, getting all excited and worked   
up. "It's so clear to me now. She's doing this to get back at me! Because of   
what we … I did last year. Don't you remember?"  
  
"I vaguely recall a … false alarm … and some water…" Giles said, not having   
a really clear memory of the incident. "I do believe I told you it wasn't a   
very … suitable thing to do."  
  
"She needed to loosen up. Remember how uptight and tense she was? She was   
sullen Buffy for , like weeks. What we did really loosened her up. I think   
we did a great job," said Willow.  
  
"But still…" Giles wanted to say something.  
  
"You can't deny it was a good April's Fool joke," replied Willow. "And this   
is probably what the whole Buffy and Xander thing is all about. A gigantic   
hoax. One big, April's Fool joke. So *she* can be the one that tricks us,   
after we tricked her last year. She'll have a great laugh, seeing all our   
expressions. That's the whole point of the thing."  
  
"That does make sense," stated Giles. "I didn't know Buffy had it in her -   
going to such an elaborate scheme just for a joke."  
  
"But it's the *perfect* scheme," replied Willow. "We didn't suspect   
anything, because she started this one week early, instead of carrying it   
out on the date itself. And the best part was, neither of us thought she   
would *actually* carry out a joke. So she's planning to get the last laugh."  
  
"And you don't want her too?" asked Giles, recognising a certain tone in   
Willow's voice.  
  
"Oh, let's just say I can get her at her own game." Willow had a   
mischievous smirk on her face.  
  
# # #  
  
"We'll tell everybody on April first, right," Xander asked Buffy. They were   
in her room again, planning out what to do and how to act for the charity   
lunch-and-dance. "We yell April's Fool, and everybody laughs. Right?"  
  
"Right." Buffy stated. "And if the rumours spread as fast as they usual do,   
the whole school will know , and it'll save us the trouble of explaining to   
everybody one by one."  
  
"Speaking of rumours," said Xander coyly, "Did you hear about what they   
said we did at the Bronze last night?"  
  
Buffy shook her head. Xander told her.  
  
"Oh my God." said Buffy, shocked and stunned, unaware that she was   
blushing. "No wonder those jocks were staring at me the whole morning. I   
feel so dirty."  
  
"I'm liking what I'm hearing," said Xander. "They're saying we're doing all   
the things I've always wanted us to do, but never imagined we could possibly   
do."  
  
"That sentence confuses me."  
  
"Well, you're not the only one," replied Xander. They were both on Buffy's   
bed, side by side , lying on their stomachs, staring blankly at the wall.   
"Sometimes I'm not sure of what I'm talking."  
  
Buffy smiled. There was something about the way he said things that made   
her find him so … adorable. It also helped that he was kind of good looking.   
Buffy stopped herself before she ventured in to the Land of No No Thinking.  
  
"Can I asked you something?" Xander changed to a serious tone.  
  
"Sure, what?" Buffy turned to look at her friend, curious about what he had   
to ask her.  
  
"Um … you know … when we were pretending … and stuff …" Xander spoke   
nervously, his words far apart and he was stuttering a little. "Do … you   
think I'm … a good … you know… eh … kisser?"  
  
Buffy seemed taken aback by the question. She wasn't expecting something   
like that. She gave a tiny laugh to stall he answer. "Well … you're all   
right, I would say. Although you could use a little work on some parts."  
  
"What parts?" asked Xander, suddenly loosing his nervousness.  
  
"I don't know," said Buffy, looking down for a short while, "I can't   
remember. I mean I would have to … kiss … you again …"  
  
She didn't realise that she was pausing more and more between words. She   
was staring into Xander's soft brown eyes, as he stared into hers. There   
seemed to be no movement for such a long time - just the staring… and then   
they slowly inched closer. Their lips pressed against each other's and both   
of them could feel the heat and intensity radiating from that kiss. It   
seemed to last forever.  
  
When they finally pulled apart, Buffy looked sheepishly at Xander. It would   
be lying if she said she didn't enjoy that. "I take that back. You are a   
good kisser."  
  
Xander smiled, still stunned that they actually shared a long, meaningful   
kiss. And they weren't even pretending. He didn't have time to finish his   
thoughts, as Buffy dragged him closer to her and kissed him again.  
  
They rolled and wrestled playfully on the bed, their lips never separating.   
Buffy pushed Xander on his back and straddled him, kissing his neck and face   
countless of times. Slowly she began to unbutton his shirt, revealing the   
well-toned body underneath. She traced her finger from his chin down to his   
stomach and playfully rubbed his chest. Xander moaned softly in ecstasy.  
  
She kissed him on more time on the lips, and then nibbled gently on his   
earlobe. She smiled at him seductively and lightly drummed her fingers on   
his chest. He responded by running his fingers through her hair.  
  
She lowered her lips to meet his again and this time they did not break   
off. At least not for a very long time. 


	5. Five

ACT FIVE  
  
Buffy and Xander didn't exchange any words as he buttoned his shirt. It was   
an awkward moment of silence. Buffy straightened her hair with her hands out   
of nothing better to do. They just stared at each other.  
  
"That … was great," said Xander, breathless.  
  
"Yeah, I know," answered Buffy shyly. She walked over to him and kissed him   
softly on the lips. "I'd like to do that again some time."  
  
Xander did a double take. "Seriously? With me?"  
  
"No, with Jojo, the dog-faced boy. Of course with you." Buffy grinned and   
ruffled his hair. She bit her lower lip and smiled.  
  
"Well, I'd like that very much." Xander said, and he returned her kiss.   
"Very much indeed."  
  
The kiss slowly progressed from a small, friendly kiss into another   
full-blown adrenaline pumping kiss. Buffy gently moved her hands all over   
his body, and once more began to unbutton his shirt.  
  
They were about to continue when Buffy stopped. "I hear my mom downstairs.   
She must be back early." She moved away from him while he rebuttoned his   
shirt.  
  
"Better stop before Mom catches us," said Buffy with a light tone in her   
voice. "We wouldn't want that, now do we?"  
  
"Yeah," replied Xander, as he was finished with the buttoning, "She kept   
giving me the eyes … like she wants to do the whole 'mother of the   
girlfriend' talk with me. I'm not looking forward to that."  
  
"At least now you deserve it," said Buffy as she checked her appearance in   
the mirror.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Xander, smiling.  
  
Buffy turned back to look at him. "Yeah, well I was thinking, that maybe,   
this thing could work. You and me, I mean. Or we could at least try.   
Besides, the whole school already thinks we're going out."  
  
Xander walked up to her and hugged her tight. "I think that's a great   
idea."  
  
---  
  
Buffy and Xander stepped into the room hand in hand. He looked dashing in   
his tuxedo, while she looked gorgeous in her silver evening gown. Most   
people turned to see the good-looking couple, before returning to their   
usual conversation.  
  
"Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" Xander whispered into her   
ear as he led her to their table.  
  
"About thirty-eight times since we left. Not that I'm complaining, though,"   
she whispered back. "And you look kind of hot in that tux too."  
  
"Thank you." Xander answered shortly.  
  
"In fact, you look so good in your tux," Buffy continued mischievously ,   
"I'm thinking of you out of your tux."  
  
"Naughty Buffy," replied Xander, grinning as he sat down. Willow and Oz   
were also seated at the table. Willow had a look on her face that Buffy   
couldn't quite make out. Oz remained passive as usual , staring blankly at   
nothing.  
  
"So Buffy," said Willow, leaning forward, "I'm so glad that you and Xander   
are together. In fact, I'm not the least bit surprised. I was actually   
expecting something like this. So, if it were meant to come as a , say,   
surprise, I wouldn't have been, say, surprised."  
  
"I don't understand what you're saying," said Buffy.  
  
"I'm just saying that, I really saw it coming. You and Xander. I mean, I've   
always known you were the perfect couple." Willow said sweetly. She was   
trying to make the point clear that no matter what else Buffy and Xander   
came up with, she was not going to be surprised one bit.  
  
"That's nice," said Xander. He gently nuzzled Buffy's neck and she giggled.  
  
Willow was confused. There was something different about them compared to   
the day before. Her comments were not getting the results she had expected.   
She was hoping to catch a slight glimpse of disappointment, perhaps, on   
Buffy's face, but didn't. Maybe she was wrong about them after all … maybe   
they really were in love.  
  
A slow ballad started. Xander got up and took Buffy's hand. "Care to dance,   
milady?"  
  
"I would love to, sir." Buffy said, smiling brightly. He led her to the   
dance floor, as Willow watched. I could get used to this idea, she thought   
to herself, they seem pretty happy. I guess I can accept that.  
  
  
"When the road gets dark  
And you can no longer see  
Just let my love throw a spark baby  
And have a little faith in me…  
  
  
Buffy wrapped her arms around Xander's neck, and he placed his hands by her   
side. They moved slowly to the music, dancing gracefully. Dancing closely.  
  
She looked up to him and her eyes glittered. "Do you love me, Xander   
Harris?"  
  
He was a bit surprised by the question. To him, it was a stupid one anyway.   
"Do you love me?" He asked her back, without answering.  
  
  
"When the tears you cry  
Are all you can believe  
Just give these loving arms a try baby  
And have a little faith in me…  
  
  
"I asked you first."  
  
"Of course I do," replied Xander without hesitating.  
  
"Good," said Buffy, pulling him closer towards her. "Because I love you   
too." They both shared a long and loving kiss. Willow watched from her table   
and smiled to herself. Oz got up and asked her to dance. She accepted.  
  
  
"When your secret heart  
Cannot speak so easily  
Come here darling  
From a whisper start  
Have a little faith in me …  
  
  
Buffy slowly rested her head on Xander's shoulder as they danced. He   
smoothed her hair with one hand, the other clasping hers. She was one of the   
most wonderful women he had ever knew. He couldn't believe how lucky he was.  
  
She pulled back a little to look at him. She had never noticed how   
beautiful his deep, chocolate brown eyes were. She must have been either   
blind or stupid not to have noticed him earlier. Perhaps it was both.  
  
"You have puppy dog eyes." She told him, with a laugh.  
  
"Is that a good or bad thing?" Xander genuinely asked her.  
  
"I think they're cute," answered Buffy, before resting her head against his   
shoulder again. She sighed contentedly. Xander held her close to him, as if   
he were afraid to let her go.  
  
  
"Well, I've been loving you for such a long, long time baby  
Expecting nothing in return  
Just for you to have a little faith in me  
You see time, time is our friend  
For you and me there is no end  
And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me ….  
  
  
"Have you ever thought," Buffy asked him, running her fingers through his   
hair, "that we would end up like this?"  
  
"End up like what?"  
  
"With my joke. With my plan. Did you ever think that … in the end, it would   
be you and me? Together? Like this?"  
  
Xander seemed to ponder this for a while. He kissed her gently on the   
cheek.  
  
  
"All you gotta do is have a little faith in me  
Just have a little faith in me…"  
  
  
The song ended on a soft note. The couples on the dance floor stopped   
dancing, but Buffy and Xander carried on anyway, so absorbed in each other   
that they were unaware that the song had ended.  
  
Xander finally spoke after a few moments. "I don't know. But I'm not   
complaining."  
  
Buffy smiled. "Neither am I."  
  
~~~THE END~~~ 


End file.
